BLEACH – an anime


By, Rikiryou Rei

R: Kairi! I’m tired!
K: Well, what do you expect me to do about it?!
R: I don’t care, just do SOMETHING!
K: How would you like to fall into an eternal sleep?
R: If I didn’t have the faint suspicion that by saying that you meant killing me, I would say that I would love it.
K: Why would you think I would kill you?
R: Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that you threaten me every day, or perhaps it’s the gigantic butcher knife in your hand behind your back.
K: *drops knife* I have no idea what you’re talking about…
R: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight… Anyways, what do you think we should talk about today?
K: Stop being lazy, Rei! You come up with an idea!
R: Jeez, it was just a simple question…
K: …Why would you talk about a cleaning product in an anime review?
R: No, the show is called Bleach, genius.
K: Oh yeah! That show!
R: Yes, that show. Do you think Emillia has-
K: No.
R: It’s pretty pointless to ask that question, isn’t it?
K: Yup.
R: Anyway, this week we will be talking about Bleach. Don’t let the title fool you. In this show, they do not clean a single thing. Unless you count all their white clothes that are stained with the blood of their enemies. Then I guess they would use bleach…
K: It all makes sense now…
R: It does… So, Bleach is about this 15-year old guy named Kurosaki Ichigo. For as long as he can remember, Ichigo has been able to see dead people.
K: That’s probably the reason why he has never had a girlfriend…
R: Yeah, that and his suspiciously ““natural”” orange hair. One night, a girl named Kuchiki Rukia appears in his bedroom.
R: Unfortunately, no. Rukia appears in his room. Rukia is a soul reaper, similar to a grim reaper. She appears in Ichigo’s room thinking he can’t see her.
K: So, she’s a stalker…
R: No, it’s because she’s practically a ghost, you idiot! Anyways, she was there searching for a hollow- a lost soul that turns evil and then begins to absorb other souls. Ichigo saw when Rukia entered his room, and (like most normal people would do if a stranger walked into their room) kicked Rukia down to the floor. Then she put an immobility spell on him.
K: And drew on his face with a permanent marker… Ha-ha, Ichigo had a mustache.
R: After Rukia immobilized Ichigo, she went to confront the hollow that had coincidentally just kidnapped Ichigo’s little sister, Karin. Unfortunately, she wasn’t strong enough to beat the hollow, and had received a very serious wound. Ichigo, being the kind and considerate person he was, tried to fight the hollow himself.
K: He failed pretty badly.
R: Yeah. So, Rukia offered to give Ichigo some of her Soul reaper powers. She had to give her reiastu, her spiritual energy. And she accomplished this task by shoving her Zanpakutō, her sword, into his stomach.
K: Apparently everyone in this show has an extremely high pain tolerance! I’m sorry, but when you get stabbed in the stomach, you either roll over and die or curl up in pain, not get stronger!
R: I agree. But remember, this is anime Kairi. Anything can happen. And Ichigo did get stronger. He was able to take all of Rukia’s reiastu.
K: That jerk!
R: Oh, it’s not like he meant to! It just happened!
K: Oh, yeah right! He totally meant to do that!
R: NO, HE DIDN’T! Anyways, Ichigo became a substitute Soul Reaper, which is basically a Soul reaper, but not… If that makes any sense…
K: It doesn’t…
R: SILENCE, CHILD! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! Anyways, Ichigo defeated the hollow, and took over the rest of Rukia’s Soul Reaper duties.
K: Yeah, since, you know, he stole he powers.
R: ANYWAYS, Ichigo took over the responsibilities of a Soul Reaper.
K: And they both lived happily ever after!
R: Yeah, you know, until Rukia’s brother came to the human world, demanding Rukia goes back to Soul Society (and that, children, is where Soul Reapers come from!), while in the process almost killing Ichigo and stripping him of his powers!
K: …. You are a killer of joy.
R: So? Anyways, Ichigo meets a man named Urahara Kisuke, who offers to help Ichigo restore his powers and go after Rukia into the Soul Society. And I am going to stop right there. If you want to know more, either watch the show or LEAVE A COMMENT! PLEASE! Oh, and as a side note, all names in this review are written last name first.
K: Please comment people. She is very desperate.
K: Very, very desperate… Bye! [^_^]

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